If Only I Could Be Happy!

It seems these days that everyone is so caught up in the stress of life, that happiness has taken the lonely back seat to "just getting by". The average person has become so used to just getting by that going through the motions has become a way of life. When stress, hardship and/or crisis consumes us and robs us of our happiness, we have to ask ourselves what our happiness is dependent upon.

Do we find that we are only truly happy when life is going good? Is there a tendency to become resentful, angry and/or depressed when faced with life challenges? If the answer is yes, you're amongst many. But is yes the right answer for finding happiness, or the right answer for unknowingly validating our internal need to suffer?

So how do you go from "unknowingly suffering" to finding a life full of peace love and happiness? Well, unless you are one of the very few people fortunate enough to live an exceptional life; one free of crisis and hardship, then I believe happiness at times, is a learned emotion that is fully reliant on the way we process our thoughts and reactions to external events. Happiness is not only an "inside job", but a full time job that if managed successfully will provide you with a lifetime of emotional prosperity.

This brings to mind a quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer that says "Change your mind, change your life". But is it really that easy? Can we just DECIDE to be happy? The unequivicable answer is YES WE CAN! I'm not saying it won't be challenging but the rewards you will reap from successfully learning to manifest your happiness are life long. Before real change can happen however, you must decide to become happy, commit to the process, and take action to make the necessary changes in your life.

One very serious question you need to ask yourself is if you are able and willing to release your attachment to being unhappy. Many people initially do not "see" or "get" the concept of being attached to their unhappiness or emotional suffering.

To aid us in the process of understanding our unhappiness, let's officially define SUFFERING because the term, for some can initially seem exaggerated. So, what is it?
Suffering is a fixation on pain.

Here is some very interesting information from an article entitled "Beyond Suffering" which explains more:

"For many people their life drama is the basis of their identity. They require recognition for the suffering that they have endured. This is a very human and legitimate need. The problem is that recognizing the suffering does not cure it.

Suffering can be the result of the daily little disasters that for many people is their way to feel alive. For some it is the only familiar way to participate in life; their learned response. Suffering can also be your quiet mantra that life is unjust and hard. In such a case, you may feel like a victim of the circumstances. As a victim, you give your power to the circumstances.

It is important at this point to distinguish between the pain between loss and suffering. Loss is when we lose someone we love. Pain is a natural reaction to loss. The pain passes, if you allow yourself to mourn the loss. After such active mourning you turn back to life."


The above example was based on the loss of a loved one by either death, separation/divorce, or perhaps relocation, but I believe pain can result in ANY situation that concludes in an unexpected loss. There are tangible losses such as the loss of one's home, financial stability, health, and material possessions. There are also the intangible losses such as the loss of trust, respect, passion/desire, understanding, compassion and love from those we cherish.

Close your eyes for a moment and think deeply and honestly about how you see yourself (not what you look like, but who you are as a person). What do you see?

One of the most important aspects of achieving life long happiness is knowing how we view and feel about ourselves. This is crucial, because in life, we will NEVER rise about our own self image, unless we change what we see, rather than how we look.

If you find that your self image mirrors the chaotic, unhappy happenings of your life, you are not alone. There are few things in life we can control, but one of them is how we process (or think about) what happens around us.

The bottom line when dealing with the emotion of happiness, is if you are either unable or unwilling to change what is making you heavy hearted or unhappy, then you absolutely must change the way you think about it, or you will continue to suffer. There is good news, however! If you are willing and able to make changes, know without any doubt at all, that happiness is completely within your reach!

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I hope you found this material helpful. I look forward to frequently sharing new thoughts, recommendations,, and possible behavior suggestions with you. I invite you to follow this blog and share/post your comments, opinions and questions. If you know someone who may benefit from this information, please refer them.